WARNING: ONLY FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE MARRIED & AGED 18 AND ABOVE!!!
Sex—and smooching and snuggling and everything else on the spectrum—is great for your relationship and happiness, but intimate time with your sweetie is also terrific for your physical health. Not only does that “loving feeling” get your heart rate
up, it can burn some serious calories, too! Check out the calorie-burning profile of each romantic activity below (based on the body weight of a 150-lb woman) along with tips from experts on ramping things up to maximize the amount of calories burned.
Kissing: 68 calories per hour
Remember how, when you were first dating, you’d start locking lips and 30 minutes later you’d come up for air? See if you can get into that groove again, say experts. Not only is smooching a great way to show affection and improve your bond as a couple, it can also help you burn fat. “If the kissing is vigorous and involves some petting, it could be even closer to 90 calories burned in an hour,” says Jaiya Kinzbach, a Los Angeles–based sexologist and the author of Red Hot Touch. Try her technique for turning kissing into an honest-to-goodness workout session: “Kiss in unusual positions,” she recommends. “Have the guy on his back and do ‘plank pose’ or a push-up on top of him, coming down to kiss him and then pushing back up. Push-ups burn 171 calories in 30 minutes.”
Undressing: 8+ calories total
You probably don’t put much thought into undressing when you’re getting intimate with your husband, but an Italian researcher looked into the matter and found that the mere act of taking one’s clothes off burns about 8 to 10 calories. Even more fascinating, the researcher reportedly found that a man attempting to remove a bra with his mouth burns as many as 80 calories. While that may not be applicable to you, here’s what is: By upping the energy you put into undressing, you can burn some extra calories. Don’t just strip down in seconds, says Kinzbach; instead, “draw it out and make it part of your foreplay, while getting a great a workout going.” Or undress to tease him, adds Gilda Carle, PhD, a psychotherapist and relationship expert. “Find your favorite silk scarf, and do a seductive dance with it,” she says.
Massaging: 80+ calories per hour
Who doesn’t like a good rubdown from their partner? But if you’re the giver, you get an additional benefit other than making your guy happy: burned calories. As it turns out, giving a good massage can get your heart rate up and kick your body into calorie-burning mode. But the way to ramp things up even more isn’t to speed things up. Instead, consider going slower, recommends Kinzbach. “This may seem counterintuitive to burning calories,” she says, “but going slower and deeper is not only more sensual, it works different muscles. I also recommend getting a massage table—it's better on your body, and standing to give a massage burns more calories.”
Having Sex: 144+ calories per half-hour
You knew sex was a workout, but who knew that a half-hour romp in the hay with your guy could burn off the chocolate you nibbled on after dinner? The key for high-calorie-burning sex is making it hot and making it last, say experts. You can also add a little moaning and sighing, says Kinzbach, which can help you burn an extra 18 to 30 calories. And try a position change for a better workout. “If you are on top, try moving your hips like a belly dancer; this feels great and will give you a workout,” she adds. “Also try a position where you squat on top of him and then bounce up and down. This is a great workout for your thighs and butt, and it can burn up to 207 calories in 30 minutes.” Perhaps the best way to maximize calorie-burning during sex is to make sure you orgasm. Experts estimate that women who orgasm during sex burn more calories during lovemaking than those who don’t.
Giving Oral Sex: 100 calories per half-hour
Here’s a stat you don’t hear every day: Being on the giving end of oral sex may be just as effective as a quick stint on the elliptical machine. But if you want to take your calorie-burning to the next level, Kinzbach recommends this calorie-blasting technique: push-ups (yes, in the act!). “Also you can do a little yoga, suggests Kinzbach. “Try plank position into downward facing dog, and back into plank where you can lower down and do some oral stimulation.” Tack on 71 extra calories blasted when you do push-ups, and 35 additional calories by mixing in some yoga.
Using Your Hands: 100 calories per hour
Of course, the old-fashioned hand job is a calorie burner, but you can zap an additional 50 calories per half-hour by taking things up a notch. “Get lots of stuff going at once,” suggests Kinzbach. “Try really slow sensual strokes, and position yourself so that you can use your body as well.” Rocking your body against his and varying the pressure and frequency can help, too, she adds.
Romantic Dancing: 103 calories per half-hour
A little dirty dancing—even with your clothes on—can be a workout for you and your husband. Couples who take dance lessons (and practice in the privacy of their homes) can attest to this. Bonus: “It has been shown in scientific studies that right after an aerobic exercise, women become aroused and lubricated more easily,” says Barbara Bartlik, MD, a New York–based psychiatrist and sex therapist. Slow dancing is fine, but you have to rev things up—and add in a few surprises—to get a real workout. “Add kissing, nibbling the neck and touch,” suggests Kinzbach. And increase the pace, too!
Making Out: 238 calories per half-hour
A sizzling clothes-on make-out session with the man you love may be the most intense caloric blaster yet. Why? Anticipation, says Dr. Carle, can get your heart rate going. “It gives way to heavy breathing, which gives way to a great calorie burn,” she explains. But you can still maximize the workout by making it hotter and sweatier! “The hotter the room—think Bikram (a.k.a. “hot”) yoga—and the sweatier the make-out session, the more calories you burn,” adds Kinzbach. Also, try rolling around on the bed or changing your scenery. “Make it playful and erotic and you have a great combination for a pleasurable workout.”